And I’m not the only one who noticed.

Since the first post ten days ago, the Metro Bank reviews have been read just over 12,000 times and clocked in just shy of 200 comments.  Search engine terms like “Metro Bank Harrisburg” and “Metro Bank complaints” (and my personal favorite, “Metro Bank sucks”) brought in just under 800 views.  Referrals from media outlets such as PennLive and The Consumerist brought in 2715 views.  While it is impossible to say exactly how many unique individuals viewed the site, those numbers alone are staggering.

Metro Bank remained silent on the matter up until the Patriot News ran their front-page article detailing the frustrations customers were having.  To many frustrated customers like myself, that paints a clear picture of Metro Bank burying its head in the sand and hoping nobody would notice.  It appears that they had no interest in admitting problems until the bad publicity began piling up.

But was it too little, too late?  Judging by the response from the general public, the answer seems to be “oh hell yes”.  Consider the following comments, all from people who claim to be Metro Bank employees (except for Shannon, whom I’ve been able to confirm as a Metro Bank employee):

Shannon: Everyone ”F” off!!! I am sure they still have all of their GOOD customers!!!

another employee: I will tell yuo right now. We have no clue what is going on with our own bank.  I can’t even explain how much it hurts going into work. We all want to leave.

Tammy: I am a metro bank employee … Everybody runs into some issues sometimes but that does not mean that the bank is bad.

empl: The reason you are being asked to reset is … the site being hacked all sites are prone to this within the first 48 hrs and is the exact reason as to why you need to reset your password.

Sarah: I, myself, am incredibly disappointed that Metro chose not to inform it’s customers about these various changes, as it made my job as a teller increasingly frustrating.

Gary Nalbandian: For its scale, the project went well. However, there were some glitches.  (NOTE:  This quote, taken directly from Metro Bank’s website, was later deleted and replaced with a slightly more apologetic message stating that their computer upgrade had “caused some service interruptions.”)

Anonymous: I would like to thank every single customer for their business, patience, and attitude. You all have expressed extreme disappointment which we as not only employees but also customers understand.

Nate: Most of these comments are about 1 or 2 issues that lasted at the most 4 or 5 days. Seriously, do you have anything else in your life?

Harry: Today it seems if you run a good business and grow it from nothing, they investigate till they pin something on you and you are forced to resign.

employee: I understand everyone is upset.. but imagine being on our end. Our accounts are as screwed up as everyone else’s plus we get to deal with every single customer and their mother screaming at us for ten hours a day… at nine dollars an hour.. in a tacky blue vest.

Anonymous: Make an attempt to not be so condescending and disrespectful. If you had these so called problems continuing I would like to believe you would go into your branch and solve them.

Anonymous: the narrowmindedness and simple nature of shaundra is obtuse. get the blog ready for those genious’ at wachovia that have that company -350 billion.  i know you’ve never made a mistake right

A. Teller: Don’t be too hard on “Shannon.” Do you have any idea what it’s like to drive to work and know that you are going to be yelled at constantly and not have any definite answers for customers?

METROCSR: Any of you people that say “I have gone in time and time and time again” HAVE YOU? Because I know for the last 10 days I have helped every single person that has needed it if they let me.

There may be more scattered in there, but you get the point.  With two or three exceptions, the response from the employees has been staggeringly inappropriate.  Most of the blame rests with upper management for failing to engage the employees on any meaningful level.  I’m willing to bet money that the employees heard a lot of phrases like “opportunity for development” and “growth investment” and “challenging potential”.  But did they hear anything on how to take care of the customers?  Were they told?  Did they listen?  Because one of two things is absolutely, positively, unconditionally true:

Either someone chose not to tell them, or they chose not to listen.

I don’t expect Metro Bank’s CEO to kowtow and grovel.  And I really don’t expect any more than a basic level of efficiency when I visit a branch or speak to an employee.  Keep an accurate record of my account and you can count me as a satisfied customer.  But the way this mess was handled speaks volume after volume about the inner workings of Metro Bank.

First the problem happened. Then they chose to keep quiet.

Then some guy with a blog posted his frustrations online.  Two newspapers, two TV stations, and a national consumer advocacy blog picked up the story. Then they posted a statement saying the upgrade went “well”.

Then the comments from angry, frustrated customers flooded in.  The Pennsylvania Department of Banking got involved. Then Metro Bank replaced their statement with an apology (but kept the June 19th date).

Then their employees showed up and told us all to “go ahead and leave” and “F off”. Then we did.

Goodbye, Metro Bank.

A lot of alleged Metro Bank employees have been contributing to this series.  Some good, some bad.  A number of other bloggers, podcasters, journalists, and Tweeps have been linking and re-linking to this site, which has driven my traffic through the roof.  As of 12:30am on Friday 6/19/09, over 4600 hits have come in on the Metro Bank posts alone.  I don’t know Metro Bank’s customer tally, but 4600 customers or potential customers is certainly a noteworhty amount.  So a big “thank you” to everyone who’s been helping to bring attention to this matter!

Here’s what I’ve been able to piece together so far:

TD Bank, who purchased Commerce Bancorp of NJ, wanted to keep the name as “TD Commerce”.  A federal judge said this was too similar to “Commerce Bank & Trust” in MA.  Pennsylvania Bancorp lost the rights to use the “Commerce Bank” trademark, and as they weren’t included in the TD sale, were forced to adopt a whole new name.  In November 2008 (possibly earlier), they announced they would be changing their name to “Metro Bank”.

Metro Bank also lost the rights to use their previous banking software, and switched from Metavante to Fiserv.  Their new website — which looks like something I would’ve designed back in 1996 — may be a result of this.  And the call center which previously handled all of Commerce Bank’s calls no longer services Pennsylvania customers, so a new call center was spawned (apparently subcontracted).

Posters representing themselves as employees are posting mixed reactions ranging from “we’d like to help, but management has forsaken us” to “everybody F off, I’m sure they still have all of their GOOD customers“.  My personal experience with employees at the Jonestown Road store was beyond terrible — the teller was either texting or fiddling with something beneath the counter while I was talking to her — and Metro Bank’s reaction was “I’m sorry to hear that, is there anything else I can help you with today?”  Call center employees are either incompetent or poorly-trained (offering to “call the store” where my direct deposit was made).  And the bank’s management?

They’ve had nothing meaningful to say on the matter.  Metro Bank’s chairman said “For its scale, the project went well“.  Then, almost as an aftertought, he grudgingly added that “there were some glitches”.  If this is what metro bank calls “going well”, I’d hate to see what they consider “an honest mistake”, let alone “a major problem”!

Customers are (still) reporting disabled accounts, double-posts that haven’t yet been corrected (despite promises to do so), and other issues.  My own personal account had all of the errors simply deleted from the ledger (a no-no in accounting; ALWAYS correct, NEVER delete), which makes me glad I printed my account statement daily starting this past weekend.

It seems that Metro Bank took the mid-90s-corporate approach to handling this problem.  Deny everything, admit nothing, and make counter-accusations.  But there’s on big difference these days:  The Internet.  Specifically, the proliferation of social media.  Like them or not, services like Facebook and Twitter — to say nothing of blogging — will propagate information like wildfire.  Case in point:  Since I began typing this, my Metro Bank hit count has risen to just shy of 5,000 reads in about three and a half days.  And if a company doesn’t manage that information, it becomes the only side of the story.

With the exception of a few employees, Metro Bank has remained silent.  Presumably, they’re hoping that if they just keep quiet long enough, everything will go away.  I wouldn’t be at all surprised if an internal email has circulated advising employees to not speak on the matter, and/or to say that they aren’t aware of any problems or media coverage.

And they are partially right — by not saying anything on the matter, a number of customers are most definitely going away.  Judging by the comments section, a large number.  Bearing in mind that the commenters don’t represent the silent majority, I wonder how many customers have already opened other accounts and are waiting for the employer to update direct deposit before closing their Metro Bank account?

But the biggest problem is the circumstances under which this failure was allowed to develop.

This did not happen overnight.  Metro Bank’s failure is a result of poor planning and poor execution.  Where was the load forecasting for the website?  Where was the load testing?  Where was the capacity planning for the call center?  Where was the employee training for the new software?  Where was the error handling?  Where was the backup system?  Where were the contingency plans?  Where were the pre-prepared press releases?  And, most importantly, where the “F” did my money go?

At issue here are the underlying processes and principles that allowed these failures to take root and flourish.  What unsound business practices are in place that led to these circumstances?  More importantly, what other unsound practices might be lurking just beneath the surface?  Metro Bank is exhibiting all the symptoms of a company on the verge of collapse:  Failing systems, poor accounting, absentee management, disgruntled employees, denial of problems … the list goes on.

I loved Commerce Bank.  I was very happy with their customer service and convenience.  While I was midly unnerved by the name change (foreshadowing?), I planned on sticking with them.  But after having my ATM card shut down with no warning, having $300 of my money become unaccounted for, hearing half-baked excuses and explanations from customer service, and encountering apathetic employees at the branches, I’ve changed my mind.

I certainly can’t tell you what to do with your money.  But I can tell you that I no longer trust Metro Bank Harrisburg with my money or my personal information.  I’ve already opened an account at PSECU and will be closing my Metro Bank account as soon as my direct deposit is transferred.

I’ve said pretty much all there is to say, so this is going to be my last post on Metro Bank unless a major development occurs.  I’m leaving the comments open — please feel free to share any stories, complaints, or progress on the issue.  To the employees who have made intelligent comments, thanks for your input.  I know how it feels to work retail and face hordes of furious customers, so I feel your pain.  The fact that you’re disgruntled is a good sign that you should consider taking your career to another employer.

Thanks to Jersey & Sara, The Patriot-News (twice), York Daily Record, WGAL, ABC27, The Consumerist, and the countless people who have commented, tweeted, and linked to / on this story.  Who knows if Metro Bank’s management would’ve even bothered fixing anything if we hadn’t all thrown this epic failure into the limelight?

Finally, to Metro Bank employee Shannon:  Yes, I know you work there.  And yes, you do know how I know.  Your comment let all of us know exactly how Metro Bank Harrisburg sees its customers.

If your Metro Bank account is not straightened out as of right this instant, please contact the PA Department of Banking immediately using this link. As always, remember to remain calm and professional.  We’re all frustrated and angry (and rightfully so), but remember that the Dept of Banking is here to help you.  They have the power to set things right, and if that can’t be done, they have the power to punish Metro Bank.

UPDATE: As of 6/19/09, Metro Bank’s CEO is stating that the “glitches” have been fixed and everything is back to normal.  Interestingly, he’s also stating that affected customers are being contacted by phone or email to let them know what happened.  This is a dramatic change from earlier in the week, when they attempted to sweep their issues under the rug with silence.  It’s pretty obvious that Metro Bank’s change in attitude is a direct result of the avalanche of negative PR that’s kept them buried all week.  While it’s good to see them finally starting to take responsibility for their poor planning and poor execution, it’s disturbing that they regarded “give customers the silent treatment” as their best option.

UPDATE #2: As of 7/5/09, commenters are still reporting problems with Metro Bank.  By now, all problems should have been resolved (actually, they should have been resolved by June 13th, but that obviously didn’t happen).  If you are still having trouble, contact the Pennsylvania Department of Banking immediately.  And while you’re at it, consider switching to a bank that knows how to treat its customers.

My site is currently getting thousands of hits every day from Metro Bank customers.  If you work for a bank or credit union and you’re offering any sort of special incentive for Metro Bank customers to jump ship, send me your contact information and details on your promotion.  I’ll post all the offers within a day or two.  I’m willing to do this for free, and in fact, I will not accept any compensation of any kind.

From the comments here and elsewhere, the most common problems users are reporting are:

• Visa / ATM cards being declined for no reason
• ATM cards not working at ATM machines
• Unauthorized transactions debiting the account
• ATM withdrawals that never happened still debiting the account
• Website is inaccessible, slow, and/or non-functioning w
• Website is poorly designed
• Customer service unreachable by telephone, or has excessive hold times
• Apathetic, defensive, and/or confrontational employees
• Incorrect balances or inaccurate transaction history
• Duplicate transactions
• Incorrect overdrafts

For added bonus points, a Metro Bank employee named “Shannon” waltzed on over here and said that any unhappy customers can go “F off”.

If you’ve been affected by Metro Bank’s epic failure, here’s some helpful information to make sure your complaint is heard by the right people.  Read on for information on crafting an effective complaint letter.

First, try to resolve your complaint through their call center (888-937-0004).  Document the name of the person you speak to, the time & date you called, the time they answered, and the time you hung up.  It’s also not a bad idea to note any important points you discussed.  If that’s unsuccessful, visit your local branch.  Ask to speak with a manager if the employee can’t or won’t help you.  Again, document the time & date of your visit, who you spoke to, and what the outcome was.

If that’s unsuccessful, contact their corporate headquarters in writing.  Metro Bank’s corporate address is:

Metro Bank
3801 Paxton Street
Harrisburg PA  17111

Their upper management consists of:

• Gary Nalbandian, Chief Executive Officer
• Mark Ritter, Chief Operating Officer
• D. Scott Huggins, Chief Risk Officer
• Steve Solk, Central PA Market Manager
• Victoria Chieppa, Senior Vice President of Operations

Metro Bank’s email structure appears to be firstname.lastname @ mymetrobank.com.

There are three main outside parties that can help with your complaint.  First is our good ol’ Pennsylvania Attorney General.  Typically they defer bank complaints to the Pennsylvania Department of Banking, but our AG is very aggressive and pro-consumer.  If they get a big enough volume of complaints, they may become involved.  The FDIC also has the authority to send in Bank Examiners to ensure that all applicable laws and regulations are being followed, and that sound practices are being used to protect the public interest.  The addresses are as follows:

Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania:

http://attorneygeneral.gov/Complaints.aspx
(click on “Consumer Complaint Form”)

Pennsylvania Department of Banking:

http://www.banking.state.pa.us/
(under “Have a Question? Need Help?”, click on “submitting a request online”)

Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC):

https://www2.fdic.gov/starsmail/index.asp
(simply fill out the form)

Remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Be polite, but persistent.  Calm, but unrelenting.

If you’re unhappy with Metro Bank (as I am), you should also consider leaving (as I am).  Central PA has an abundance of dependable, secure, financially-sound banks and credit unions who will bend over backwards to earn your business.  There are also a number of national banks, such as E-Trade and ING, who offer unique and competitive advantages.  If you have experiences to share with your bank (or if you ARE a bank looking to pick up some alienated Metro customers), please feel free to do so in the comments below.

Now then:  There’s a right way to complain and a wrong way to complain.  I am 100% sympathetic towards the customers who have had their finances locked out by this fiasco, but the fastest way to have your complaint dumped into a pile and never looked at again is to be rude.  Other turn-offs include threatening legal action (companies get these all the time), making unlikely or inappropriate demands, and wordiness.  Keep your complaints brief and to the point.  Remain calm.  Stick to the facts.  If you must talk about your feelings or thoughts, keep it light.  For example:

RIGHT: I spoke with Nadine at your call center on June 17th at approximately 4:28pm.  She was very dismissive of my claims, and even stopped to say “Well I didn’t double-post your bills”.  She was ultimately unable to resolve my concerns.

WRONG: I spoke with Nadine at your call center last week sometime after work.  Our conversation went on for a very long time.  I feel that she was not taking me seriously and had no interest whatsoever in helping me out.  As an example, when I told her that my bill payments had been double-posted in my online ledger, she sarcastically replied “Well I didn’t double-post your bills”.  I don’t appreciate being spoken to in this manner.

Unless you’re attaching supporting documentation, your letter should be no more than one page.  If it goes longer, you’ve probably written too much.  Set it aside, go do something calming for an hour or two, then come back and see what you can trim off.  Your letter should clearly state what happened, why it was wrong (if it isn’t already painfully obvious), and what you want them to do about it.  The last part is important — if you say “I hope you all go out of business!”, you’re not going to get what you want.  Reasonable resolutions should be concrete.  Examples include:

• “I would like a written apology for the conduct demonstrated by this employee.”
• “I expect my account balance to be corrected as described above no later than June 20th, 2009.”
• “I would like my account closed effective June 21st, 2009.”

If you want proof that your letter was received (not a bad idea, considering Metro Bank’s track record for inaccurate record-keeping), send it certified mail with signature requested.  This costs about $5 for a standard letter.  Reputable businesses do not refuse certified mail; if Metro returns your mail refused or unclaimed, then cut your losses and seek another bank immediately.

My last post on Metro Bank got pretty popular pretty quickly.  Barely 24 hours after posting, it already has over 500 reads and 33 comments. With a little help from The Consumerist,  The Patriot-News, podcasts, multiple forums, other blogs, and some other frustrated Metro Bank customers, the post has cleared over 1000 reads in 30 hours! more than 3300 readers in less than three days! Thanks, guys!

Two of the commenters describe themselves as Metro Bank employees.  One of them (”Shannon”) did not come out and say “I am an employee of Metro Bank”, and as such, she may very well be some non-Metro Bank employee who happens to say things like “we are doing everything we can”.  Here’s the direct link to the first comment; you can see the other two from “Shannon” immediately after the first.  In fact, let me save you the trouble.  Here are all three comments from “Shannon”, in their complete form:

1. You need to know what you are talking about before you start making comments on something you have no idea about. Metro will be America’s next GREAT bank when all things are completed. There are a few bumps in the road to success to better serve everyone. I know it is hard now and everyone is frustrated, but things will get better in time. Banks change names, it happens, so before you pass judgment look into the relationship you have had with Commerce. They have always been nothing but great to their customers and we are doing everything that we can to make sure that we can provide everything that we can to them. If you feel that another bank would be better it won’t. They are not there for their customers and Metro has more possibilities coming. Hang in there we all are.  Shannon | Jun 15, 2009 | Reply
2. Good do it.. they don’t need u!! Shannon | Jun 15, 2009 | Reply
3. Everyone ”F” off!!! I am sure they still have all of their GOOD customers!!! Shannon | Jun 15, 2009 | Reply

Now, everyone has a right to speak their mind freely.  That’s a given and I applaud Shannon for having the courage to stand up in front of thousands of people and speak her piece in an irrevocable, un-deletable medium like this.  I think the “they don’t need u” was a nice touch, and the “F off” bit at the end was the icing on the cake.  Bravo, Shannon.  Some may call you rather short-sighted (for reasons I’m about to explain), others may raise their fists in triumphant support and say “Rock on, girl (or guy)!”.  Regardless of what others may say, fear not, for your comment is now forever broadcast on the Internet for all to see for years and years (decades?) to come.

Before we go any further, I want to say that I fiercely believe in the privacy of my commenters.  I welcome all comments and commenters.  And I will always do everything in my power to protect the information provided.  Even though your email address reveals exactly who you are, I value your privacy and will never reveal that information to anyone.  So for example, if Metro Bank were to contact me tomorrow and ask for your email address, I would proudly stand up high, raise one finger in the air, and tell them what they can do with themselves.  Because if we can’t speak our minds without fear of repercussion, then what’s the point of speaking at all?

Now, on the other hand, if Metro Bank were to subpoena me with a valid request for your IP address and email address, well, then I’d have to hand it over cheerfully and quickly.  That would be unfortunate, because your email address — which I promise not to share, except under court order — appears to be your full first and last name.

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, though.  Employers never crack down on stuff like this.  Heck, judging by Metro’s new website, I doubt anyone at Metro Bank even uses the Internet.

Seriously, have you seen their new website?  It’s terrible!

And even if they did, I’m sure they’d find your post to be rather amusing.  After all, screw those customers, right?  Man, all they ever do is make demand after demand after demand.  I really do feel for the Metro Bank employees who had to work this past weekend and deal with things like “customers who want their money” and “customers whose ATM cards were shut off for no reason” and “customers who can’t log in” and “customers who expect a better answer than ‘Uh, I don’t know’”.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure Metro Bank would get a big laugh out of that one.

In fact, we’re all laughing.  Having our accounts essentially disabled is hands-down the funniest thing to happen to us since … well, ever.

Maybe I should print this out and send it to them, just so they don’t miss out, ya know?  Actually, on second thought, that won’t be necessary.  All they have to do is Google “Metro Bank Harrisburg” and they’ll find me in the top results.

NOTE:  The sarcasm ends here.  Metro Bank screws up the accounts of what appears to be many customers (tens? hundreds? thousands?), and their employees are telling me to “F OFF”?  So far, Metro Bank’s management has been deathly silent (aside from the comments here) on this ongoing issue, presumably hoping it will all just go away.  My account is hosed up for an entire weekend, the employees I’ve encountered are completely apathetic, and I’m still hearing reports of people with mangled accounts.  This is an inexcusable state of affairs for any financial institution, let alone mine.  Metro Bank needs to make with the fixes PRONTO.

And Shannon, posting a comment using that particular email address was unbelievably stupid of you.  If you are a Metro Bank employee — and your email address makes it pretty obvious — then you deserve to be fired.  To think you’re the caliber of person that Metro Bank has hired to handle my money (to say nothing of my Social Security number and other personal information) is terrifying.  Go find a job where you never have to deal with the public.

UPDATE #1: The Consumerist is now reporting on this mess.
UPDATE #2: Off the Record dedicated the first ten minutes to Metro Bank’s epic failures.
UPDATE #3: The issue is not going away.  Both WGAL and The Patriot-News are reporting on Metro Bank’s problems.
UPDATE #4: Metro Bank Harrisburg CEO Gary Nalbandian says the upgrade went well, admits “some” glitches.
UPDATE #5: If you’re an affected Metro Bank customer, complain to the FDIC.  Their complaint form can be found here:  https://www2.fdic.gov/starsmail/index.asp
UPDATE #6: Oops – this domain is on private registration.  If Metro Bank feels like requesting the information as described above, my mailing address is floor9.com c/o Dave Sheranko / PO Box 6020 / Harrisburg PA 17112-6020.

UPDATE 3: If you’re having trouble with Metro Bank, I’ve added another post detailing how to file a formal complaint and how to make sure your complaint is effective.

UPDATE 4: The Consumerist has linked to my story.  Thanks, guys!  Since Metro Bank isn’t paying attention to individual consumers, maybe some nationwide bad publicity will help out.

UPDATE 5: The Patriot-News ran a story on Metro Bank.  CEO Gary Nalbandian says things “went well overall”.

So I’ve been a Commerce Bank customer for a few years now.  I’ve always enjoyed their focus on convenience and customer service.  This past weekend, they shed their old moniker and became known as Metro Bank. They replaced the website, re-recorded all the greetings, and I believe all their signage has now been replaced.

As an added bonus, there’s a puppy wandering around their homepage.

Commerce Bank Harrisburg was always well-known for treating their customers well.  And yet it’s as if Metro Bank — with the same people in charge, mind you — has thrown out everything they knew about good customer service.  From major faults such as cutting off ATM cards with no warning, to tiny details (such as having their customer service reps recite an uncomfortably-long 20-second greeting when they answer the phone), Metro Bank has really fouled this one up.

Right now I’m on hold with their customer service call center.  The 20-minute mark has long since come and gone.  And since this is my third time calling in the past 24 hours, so has my patience.

This all started Saturday morning.  I tried to log on to the Commerce Bank Harrisburg website, and was redirected to a “coming soon” Metro Bank page.  I needed my account balance before I headed out for the weekend, so I called their direct-to-operator customer service line.  I was told that because the systems were “updating” (that’s call-center speak for “down”), nobody could answer any of my questions.  Awesome.

I generally stay on top of my accounts, and I had a rough idea of what was in there.  So I went out and spent about 20% of that amount on groceries.  But when I got to the checkout line, my card was declined. Turns out that Metro Bank had shut off a number of Commerce ATM cards.  No forewarning, no explanation.  Just gone.  Sweet.

Upon returning home from the supermarket, I called Metro Bank to find out what happened.  I was told that my account was overdrawn (heart attack!).  I was told that no, wait, maybe it isn’t.  Or maybe it could be, but nobody was really sure because they wouldn’t be able to see all of Friday’s transactions until sometime Sunday.  Or maybe Tuesday.

I had to hang up.  I let a few hours pass in order to cool off.  There’s nothing to instill confidence in your bank like hearing a customer service representative use words like “maybe” and “I’m not sure” and “I don’t know what this is”.

Now I’m back on the phone.  We’re blazing past the 40-minute mark on hold with no end in sight.  While I’m wondering where a $200 discrepancy between my available balance and actual balance went, Metro Bank’s hold music is reassuring me that they love dogs.

No, I’m not kidding.

Now, at the 1:14 mark (that’s one hour and fourteen minutes of hold music), a voice appears on the other end of the line.  While struggling to remain calm in the face of utter indifference and lack of urgency on Metro Bank’s part, I’m trying to form rational, courteous responses to the representative’s wildly inaccurate statements.  It seems that my direct deposit paycheck from Friday has vanished.  They aren’t sure if it ever posted.  The supervisor asks if I made that deposit in person.

I remind her that it was direct deposit.  She helpfully offers to call the branch where I made it.

If shuffling my feet and clearing my throat would have been a visible gesture over the phone, I would have done it.  I point out that, being direct deposit, it wasn’t made at any branch.  Perhaps there’s an internal “ghost location code” to which direct deposits are posted, but as they’re done through EFT, nobody physically walked my paycheck into a store.

“Well, no … sir, I don’t think you understand.  The branch.  The store where you made this deposit.”

It wasn’t made at a branch.  It was a direct deposit.  A direct deposit of my paycheck.

“Well …  I think I’d better call the store just to be safe.”

Fine, go ahead.

So now my account is overdrawn (or not) by a random amount.  My bills may or may not have been paid.  I may have unknowingly walked into a branch (or store) and deposited (or not) my own direct deposit personally (maybe).  Plus, they promise (sort of) to have an answer for me (maybe) tomorrow (or within a few days) about what may (or may not) have happened (or not) to my money (which may or may not even exist).

Thanks for the effort, guys.  Great work.

Going online for help is impossible, because Metro Bank’s website is badly broken.  When I was able to log on during a 15-minute window last night around 9:30, my account balances were all wildly inaccurate.  There are no pending transactions, so I can’t get a current balance.  Maybe this was acceptable in the earliest days of online banking, but even my circa-2000 NetBank account had a vastly superior web interface.

I understand that, from time to time, companies change names or billing systems or call center management.  Sometimes, all three happen at once.  But they don’t just happen.  There’s always time for forethought and planning.  Metro Bank failed on multiple levels:

• No capacity planning for their website.  Website loads in a static environment (such as a bank) are unbelievably easy to forecast.  Why didn’t Metro Bank provide adequate servers and/or bandwidth?  Will they do so in the future?
• No capacity planning for their call center.  “Day One” always involves a number of users calling in for support, especially when you’ve just completely replaced your website.  In 2009, a 75-minute hold time for the most basic of questions — “What is my account balance?” — is completely inexcusable.
• ATM outage.  Why were the ATM cards shut down?  For how long?  When did they come back up?  What operational circumstances did Metro Bank not foresee?  Or did Metro Bank anticipate the outage, but neglect to inform their customers?
• Terrible web design.  I realize design quality is subjective, but Metro Bank stripped out at least one very important function — the “pending transactions” area.  You can’t see what charges are pending on your card, so if you suddenly find a $200 hole in your account — as I did — well, then, you’ll just have to wait 5-7 business days until all the charges post.  Just hope it’s not a mistake on Metro Bank’s part (as it was in my case).
• Untrained employees.  The second supervisor to handle my call was unable to tell me the total sum of my pending transactions because “there isn’t a calculator on this screen”.  Because apparently banks have no need for calculators.  Of course, this doesn’t even begin to address why my account was hosed up in the first place — an issue nobody has been able to fully explain.

And easily the most critical of all failures:

• Blatant indifference to the customers’ needs.  When you tell me that my account may be overdrawn and that there’s a $200 discrepancy between what should be there and what really is there, you need to follow up with an explanation.  Pronto.  Telling me that you’ll have a supervisor get back to me on the following business day is not only inexcusable, but it reeks of arrogance in assuming that I plan on keeping my account open.

Anyone else have any experiences — good or bad — with Metro Bank?  Post in the comments and let me know.  In the meantime, I’m heading over to PSECU to open an account.

EPILOGUE:  It turns out that the problem was that one bill payment was double-dipped.  I spent well over two hours on the phone trying to get an answer to a very, very simple question.

UPDATE 1: I arrived home today to check my account balance online (”mymetrobank.com” is not yet unblocked from work), only to find out it had grown to an overdraft of $196.  A supervisor had offered to credit back $100 from the double-ding, but had incorrectly inserted it as a debit.  Presumably, they caught the mistake, becuase it was followed by a credit.  Effectively, they cancelled out their own credit.  And to add insult to injury, the thing double-dipped again.  So now I have a total of three $100 bill payments and one $100 credit.

I called Metro Bank — again — for assistance.  I was actually able to drive to my local branch before anyone picked up, so I went inside for help.  The woman working behind the counter was the very definition of indifference.  As I explained the situation, she was either texting or playing with her nails below the counter (I couldn’t really see).  When I stopped talking, she continued staring down in silence.  The woman working next to her commented that they’ve had a lot of problems.  Then she went back to counting money, while my cashier just started straight down in silence.

Finally a guy came over and offered to help.  While I was trying to explain how inconvenienced and frustrated I was at Metro Bank, he kept alternating between offering excuses (”we lost our license to use that website”) and insulting Metro (”nobody at the call center knows what’s going on” and “I hate Metro right now”).  Not exactly the kind of thing to say to a customer.  Especially when that customer is asking where his missing $300 went.

I have to go do something else now.  Anything.  It’s infuriating that they lost my money, it’s infuriating that they obviously weren’ prepared for this switch, and most of all, it’s infuriating that nobody at Metro Bank knows or cares about what’s going on.

I think I found the perfect slogan for their new venture.

Metro Bank:  We Don’t Know.

UPDATE 2:  After reading the comments from “Shannon”, who appears to be an employee, I think I found a much better slogan for Metro Bank Harrisburg.  What do you think?

Metro Bank:  Go F Yourself, Pennsylvania.