Another Thanksgiving, another Thanksgiving weekend downtown. There’s no better way to burn off excess pecan pie than bouncing from lounge to lounge in 20-degree weather. For that matter, nothing makes up for the hell that is Black Friday better than a few martinis.

We started at Garfield’s in the Capital City Mall. As one of the women put it, “we should find someplace that won’t be crowded”. A mall on Black Friday — who knew? We started our night over some adequate-at-best food with decent service. Garfield’s opened just after I left the mall over a year ago, so this was my first visit. I don’t think I’ll be heading back. After a quick stop in Radio Shack to visit some mutual friends and buy a replacement car charger, we headed downtown.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover Privado playing a very chilled house soundtrack upon our arrival at 8:00. Unfortunately, they jump to their all-hip-hop soundtrack at 10, with the exception of the downstairs vault. The martinis and service were as good as ever. My only running complaint is that the place smells perpetually like Clorox.

Smalls was our next stop. I love this place, but everyone always complains about the “scary” crowd. I tried explaining that most of the patrons there are your American Eagle / Gap / American Apparel variety of punk and are therefore harmless. You’re more likely to see an emo slapfest over criticism of someone’s Myspace page than any actual violence. Nobody believes me, but I managed to convince them to stick around for an hour anyway. If the atmosphere and crowd aren’t enough, the change of soundtrack is refreshing. It’s one of the few true alternatives downtown, a place where you don’t have to listen to Nelly 32 times a night.

Around 11 we made our way across the street to The Quarter. Heather had never been in the Gin Mill — my favorite floor — so downstairs we went. There was a pretty decent funk band playing when we walked in; quite different from the XM Frank’s Place soundtrack I was used to hearing. Apparently, they’ve gone to live acts on Friday and Saturday nights now. In keeping with the Gin Mill tradition, they choose jazzy-genre, less-mainstream bands over Hardware Bar Cover Band #842.

As we sat downing our 7&7s and reminiscing about Days Gone By, I noticed a sign advertising a talent search for burlesque dancers. Specifically, they’re holding auditions for servers (women 18+, bartending / dancing / watiress experience required) on 11/28. Interesting. Given the reputation of the third floor, I’m not sure how well this will go over, but The Quarter gets points for originality.

An hour later, we found ourselves at Zembie’s. Zembie’s has always been a favorite of mine. Maybe it’s the lack of a shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, maybe it’s the mid-80s-but-still-welcoming decor, maybe it’s the spectacular food. Maybe it’s the mystique of the idea that nobody seems to know exactly when they opened, just that “they’ve been there forever”. Whatever the deal, Zembie’s has never failed me. Last night was Karaoke night, meaning we heard everything from Piano Man to Baby I Got Your Money (until roughly 12 hours ago, I had never heard a karaoke rendition of Space Oddity, and I’m not sure I ever want to again). Heather took on “Guys Want It All The Time”, easily beating out the guy who did the bee girl song.

After returning to Smalls to finish off the night, we piled back into the Element (myself being the designated driver) and began the voyage over to the West Shore (one million miles away) to drop people off. Maybe it’s because I don’t often find myself driving west at 2am; maybe it’s because I’m used to the slalom of dodging DUIs on 83 (sideswipe my 4000-pound SUV; watch what happens). There seemed to be absolutely no traffic whatsoever on 581 at 2:15, and very little anywhere on the west shore. Is this normal? Or was everyone so exhausted from shopping that you all went home at midnight? Either way, it was an unexpected decent end to a decent night.

It was also my last chance to go out for a while. I’m starting renovations on my house next week, and I’m going to have plenty of other places to put my drinking money to good use. A contractor down the street is doing ridiculous amounts of work for ridiculously little money (new custom kitchen for $1500, anyone?), meaning I’m pretty much rebuilding my house from ceiling to floor (in that order, actually; I discovered that the reason for my monthly $300 heating bills is that my roof has no insulation). And with the discovery of Koser’s, I’m picking up most of my hardware at ridiculously uber-cheap sub-wholesale prices (new Kohler toilet + new American Standard bathroom sink + new fiberglass shower tub = $118).

But more on that later — how was YOUR Thanksgiving?