“Mr. floor9,  After reviewing your resume, we would like to extend to you this VERY special offer - but ONLY if you’re willing to extend to us an OPEN mind!  Are you ready for UNLIMITED income potential from an AMAZING service that EVERYONE needs?  We can OFFER you the CHANCE of a LIFETIME, but ONLY if you AGREE to capitalize EVERY second or THIRD word!”

“Mr. floor9,  UR RESUME WAS AWESOME AND I WULD LIKE TO OFFAR YOU THIS AWESOME OPPERTUNITY FOR ADVANCEMINT AND OPPERTUNITY BECAUSE WE PUT THE “UNITY’ INTO “OPARTUNITY” AND MANY LIKE U HAVE NOW BECUM RICH BEYOND THEYRE WILD DREAMS!!  AND OMGOMGOMG THIS IS NOT AN MLM OMG WTF IS THAT??1!!1four?”

“Mr. floor9,  We are opening a series of retail operations in your area and would like to speak with you about managing all locations within the district.  …  This job pays a base salary of $44,000 and an attainment bonus of $1250 monthly.”

“Mr. floor9,  I was impressed with your resume, and would like to include you in a very select group of individuals to receive this offer.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that few individuals are exposed to.  Please respond with your name, phone number, address, date of birth, and social security number.”

“Mr. floor9,  EARN UNLIMITED INCOME BY RECRUITING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!  That’s right!  How would you like to actually GET PAID for introducing your friends and family to the amazing business and incoming opportunities that we are offering?”

“Mr. floor9,  Have you ever heard of a bill?  How about a hospital?  If you put the two together, you have a lucrative income opportunity — THAT YOU CAN OBTAIN AT HOME!  Our top producers are earning over $60,000 every MONTH for only three hours of work daily!”