Forecasters have been calling for 8″ of snow for the past few days.  Generally when this happens, we wind up getting flurries.  Or maybe a cloud.  Remember last year’s “OMG BLIZZARD”?  Last night, however, they hit paydirt.  According to my deck (which is a trusted weather observation station), my house received exactly 6″ of snow overnight.  Very nice.  Feel free to print this off and use:

O F F I C I A L __ L E A V E __ O F __ A B S E N C E __ N O T E

Dear Boss / Manager / Parent / President / American People / Bicycle (circle one),

_____ has been under my care for the past _____ hours / days / picoseconds / eons / since now.  During that time, I / we / DJ Smooth has observed no less than _____ inches / feet / bicycle / miles of snow / flurries / cloud.  _____ is hereby excused from work / class / employment / the remainder of his 4-year term, on the grounds that he / she / it / you / DJ Ill Cosby / cheese wagon / they could not make it to class / work / a 40% approval rating / there.  Please send _____’s assignments / paperwork / three-story nightclub at 234 N Second Street, downtown Harrisburg / bowties to the address below.  Thank you for your cooperation / your understanding / your termination notice / keeping _____ above the single digits in polls / that.  If you have any further questions / answers / spare change, please forward it / them / Judd Goodman to the address below.  Thanks for your understanding / the New York incident / playing / nothing.

Sincerely,

floor-9.com / not floor-9.com