Dear Ron Paul PA,
Please stop emailing me.
I’ve given up on expecting you to actually honor my request. I have clicked on the “unsubscribe” link in your emails and followed its instructions perfectly (I once successfully navigated my way to a free Macbook Pro; don’t think for one second that I can’t follow instructions). I have emailed every address on your website asking to be removed from your list. I’ve done everything in my power to let you know that you’re a bunch of tools who couldn’t run a successful web campaign if your lives depended on it and that I want nothing more to do with you folks, but for reasons that remain elusive, you have yet to respect my wishes.
Are you truly so desperate for attention that even when voters politely ask you to leave them alone you are left with no recourse but to continue to pummel them with useless crap? Or do you feel that voters asking to be removed from your list constitute a small branch of some epic anti-Ron-Paul conspiracy that must be nipped? Whatever the reason, my message is clear: Please stop emailing me.
True, at one time, I did proudly display a “Ron Paul 2008” button at the top of my site. Long before his name became a household synonym for “crazy legions of paranoid supporters” thanks largely in part to fanatical supporters like you who mistake “unsubscribe” for “please continue to send me as many emails as is possible given the limitations of modern-day email technology”, I was pulling for his victory. But somewhere between causing infighting among your own party, alienating just about every voter, and screaming “OMG CONSPIRACY” at the drop of a hat, you lost me.
That’s right; it’s the conduct of you guys that killed it for me. I don’t want to be affiliated with you. Now, don’t misunderstand me: I’m sure that not every single one of you is completely stupid. In fact, a good friend of mine is still an avid supporter, and I hold his political opinion and dedication in high regard. But the overwhelming majority of you is simply way too out there. Perhaps this is why my simple request of “please stop emailing me” has fallen on deaf ears; you’re just too far removed from reality to hear.
Also, please stop emailing me.
There’s something to be said for standing up and taking a different route in modern-day politics. But when it comes to stuffing polls, or spamming forums, or spamming in general, or threatening civic employees with murder, or protesting the Civil War, or dismissing evolution as bogus, or rallying against blacks and gays and AIDS victims, or being completely delusional, or screaming that 9/11 was an inside job, or … you know what? The few hundred additional links I have here don’t even matter, because they’re all the same; you guys are certifiably batshit insane.
I’m all for being passionate about politics. More people need to be, and not just on a federal level. Nothing (well, almost nothing, *ahem*) annoys me faster than people who come out every four years to scream and stomp and bang their fist on the table about whatever political hot-button issue is bothering them that day, only to go back into hibernating a few weeks after the presidential election. These people don’t understand that borough, city, and/or county officials often have a greater impact on issues than the president. So to those of you passionate and energized enough to bravely venture out onto The Intarwebs and make idiots of yourselves, in a way, I tip my hat to you. Just don’t disappear in a year. And don’t send me any more emails.
I guess the point I’m really trying to make here is that I don’t want your emails anymore. I don’t care about Ron Paul. I’m not voting for him, I’m not organizing some “call in and threaten random city officials until a Ron Paul statue is erected at Second & Market” event, and I don’t want anything to do with him. What was once a real opportunity to spawn actual political dialogue and explore new solutions has now derided into “OMFG FOX NEWS DIDN’T POINT OUT TAHT RON PAUL CAME IN 5TH IN THAT POLL CONSPIRACY!!11!!!!one”. You have yourselves to blame.
I generally don’t like discussing politics here on floor9.com simply because too many people get entirely too worked up, and not in a good way. Someone’s feelings get hurt, someone strikes back on another blog or forum, and the next thing you know, the local blogosphere (I really do hate that word) is fractured into die-hard political factions. I respect the beliefs of anyone able to structure their own political opinions, and I’ll happily engage in intelligent political debate and discussion on a moment’s notice. But I’m not a big fan of perpetually being spammed by candidates’ supporters. So please stop emailing me.
So who am I voting for now? That’s easy! Come November, I’m punching (tapping, as the case will be) my vote for the only candidate who, despite his flaws, has always been painfully obvious and transparent about his positions on pretty much everything. I’m voting Wiggum in 2008.
Or maybe Walken.