Central Dauphin East? What A Riot!

This may be the single stupidest thing I have ever read in my 34 years on this planet.

Central Dauphin East is insisting that last week’s epic fight was not a riot.  That assertion by itself is at least arguable.  But the “reasoning” — and I’m using that term generously — used is laughably bad.  They insist it wasn’t a riot simply because of the lack of tear gas, bombs, and helicopters.

I am not kidding:

(District spokeswoman Shannon Leib) says the incident happened during a change of periods in a heavily trafficked area of the school.  “When you hear a riot, one thinks of tear gas and bombs and smoke and helicopters landing. It was nowhere near that,” Leid (sic) said.

Presumably, the district is operating in a mid-1990s PR mode over this.  Back then, an organization could trot out any talking point and, no matter how ridiculous, if they stuck to it and said nothing else, it would stick.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t work very well in this Internet-enabled, social-media-toting era.

There were no bombs or helicopters.  And everyone knows that when you see a prison riot on TV, there are always bombs and helicopters.  Therefore, technically this was not a riot.  QED.  *crosses arms and stares smugly at the camera*

In other news, Linda Thompson did not issue a gag order because — hello — did you see any city workers walking around with duct tape over their mouths?  Please.

Also, the incinerator is not dragging the city into the toilet.  Everybody knows that whenever you see a ruined city on TV it’s Detroit.  Harrisburg is not Detroit.  So there.

One thought on “Central Dauphin East? What A Riot!”

  1. White riot – I wanna riot
    White riot – a riot of my own
    White riot – I wanna riot
    White riot – a riot of my own

    Black people gotta lot a problems
    But they don’t mind throwing a brick
    White people go to school
    Where they teach you how to be thick
    I swear I read somewhere that they tried to blame social media as the cause of it all. I just don’t get it Dave, I really, truly don’t. I guess things really are that bad. Everywhere. But, I am told to go around acting like all is right with the world. I’ll just stick to watching the wheels spin around and around.

    Linda ~ Mayor for Life!


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